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- The Cynic: September 28
The Cynic: September 28
The Cynic
September 28, 2025
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BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
The UAE just sat down with OpenAI’s Sam Altman—because oil money now wants AI money.
Business Insider | Amazon CEO Andy Jassy
President Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed met with Altman in Abu Dhabi to talk about “partnership opportunities” in artificial intelligence, proving the UAE isn’t content just owning half the world’s skyscrapers—it wants the algorithms inside them too.
No concrete deals yet, but given how sovereign funds usually operate, expect a press release soon about “synergies” and “innovation hubs” that all translate to “we wrote a very large check.”
At this rate, the UAE will have AI running your shopping mall before San Francisco figures out zoning.
Wall Street futures are mixed, because traders have the same attention span as TikTok.
REUTERS | Jeenah Moon
Ahead of the latest inflation data, stock futures wobbled in both directions as investors debated whether the Fed is cutting, holding, or just trolling them.
Bond yields moved a little, gold moved a little, and futures traders collectively moved their stop losses closer.
In other words: nothing happened, but CNBC got its segment.
Seoul says it’s reached an FX deal with Washington—translation: fewer currency headaches, more handshakes.
REUTERS | Hemanshi Kamani
South Korea announced an agreement with the U.S. on foreign-exchange cooperation, including a pledge to stabilize volatility and strengthen economic coordination.
It’s part diplomacy, part market signal: Seoul wants predictability, and Washington wants reassurance that “currency manipulation” won’t become the next tariff war headline.
The fun part? FX markets moved about as much as a parked car—apparently even traders took Sunday off.
INVESTING
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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
Chain store bankruptcies are turning malls into ghost towns—and small businesses are inheriting the corpses.
AFP | Getty Images
With big retailers closing, mall landlords are increasingly offering space to gyms, clinics, and mom-and-pop shops. It’s less “shopping mall” and more “random collection of leases that hopefully pay rent.”
Developers spin it as “diversification,” but really it’s survival dressed up as strategy.
The 1980s mall kid is dead; long live the strip-mall dentist.
Housing affordability is now a national sport, and everyone’s losing.
Courtesy of Zuri Gardens
Real estate prices remain stubbornly high even as rates shift, leaving ownership further out of reach for the average American. Homes are technically selling, but affordability has hit lows not seen in decades.
The trend is clear: if you’re not already in, getting in requires a miracle, a windfall, or a sudden marriage to someone with an inheritance.
Zillow browsing is America’s most popular form of self-harm.
State-level mortgage rates fell sharply—but only some buyers actually benefit.
REUTERS | Sarah Meyssonnier
Fresh data shows average mortgage rates declined in several states, giving a little relief to those who can still qualify. But the improvements vary widely by region, making the dream house affordable in some places and still a fantasy in others.
It’s good news for borrowers who can pounce, though affordability is still crushed by home prices that didn’t get the memo.
So yes, rates are lower—but unless you live in the right ZIP code, you’re still toast.
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ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice
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