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- The Cynic: September 22
The Cynic: September 22
The Cynic
September 22, 2025
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BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
Nvidia is throwing $100 billion at OpenAI—because apparently GPUs weren’t expensive enough.
Business Insider | Amazon CEO Andy Jassy
The chip giant plans to sink the massive investment into Sam Altman’s lab over the next few years, cementing itself as the sugar daddy of generative AI. If Microsoft was the controlling spouse, Nvidia just became the rich fling.
It’s not charity—every model OpenAI trains burns through Nvidia chips like a crypto miner in 2021, and this deal basically guarantees future demand.
Some people buy Lambos; Nvidia buys the company that makes everyone else buy more GPUs.
Hershey just beat a lawsuit claiming Reese’s Halloween candies weren’t spooky enough.
REUTERS | Jeenah Moon
A consumer sued because the wrappers showed pumpkins and bats but the actual chocolate was… just chocolate. A judge tossed the case, ruling that no “reasonable consumer” expected candy to come alive and haunt them.
The court didn’t say it out loud, but the vibe was: “You wanted your Reese’s to look like Dracula? Buddy, it’s two bucks.”
Moral of the story: the scariest thing about Halloween candy is still the sugar crash.
Argentina’s markets shot up after the U.S. promised support—because one Scott Bessent phone call is apparently worth 10 IMF packages.
REUTERS | Hemanshi Kamani
Treasury Undersecretary Bessent pledged Washington’s backing for Argentina’s reforms, sparking rallies in stocks, bonds, and the peso, all of which usually treat good news like a rumor.
Investors took the rare optimism as a sign that maybe Argentina won’t default before the year ends—a bold thought for a country that’s made defaulting a national pastime.
In Buenos Aires, the celebration lasted exactly as long as it took for locals to check grocery prices.
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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
Fed official Alberto Musalem says: don’t expect endless rate cuts—Powell’s scissors aren’t that sharp.
AFP | Getty Images
Speaking in St. Louis, Musalem warned there’s “limited room” for further easing, even after September’s quarter-point trim. Translation: markets, please stop acting like this is 2019.
He pointed to inflation risks and fiscal policy as reasons the Fed can’t just slash away, even if investors already bought the champagne.
Basically, the Fed wants to cool rates without lighting a fire under housing again. Good luck with that.
Trump just declared a national housing emergency—finally, someone admitted the obvious.
Courtesy of Zuri Gardens
The order gives federal agencies broader powers to fast-track building, ease financing, and push supply—an attempt to tackle soaring home prices and affordability crises.
Treasury’s Scott Bessent called housing “a national priority,” and the move could funnel more capital into construction, zoning reforms, and subsidies.
Sure, it won’t make San Francisco rent-friendly overnight—but at least the White House isn’t pretending Zillow scrolling is a hobby and not a cry for help.
Fed rate cut or not, August’s jobs report made mortgages awkward.
REUTERS | Sarah Meyssonnier
Rates ticked lower after the Fed’s September cut, but tepid jobs data kept lenders cautious, with average 30-year rates still hovering well above pandemic lows.
Borrowers hoping for an instant 3% rate world were, once again, disappointed—because labor data, bond markets, and global oil prices don’t read FOMC press releases.
The takeaway: yes, refinancing is cheaper, but buying is still painful. Basically, rates are down, optimism is up, and affordability is still in the basement.
“Reading The Cynic is like being handed a lit firework—painful, reckless… yet impossible to ignore.”
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