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- The Cynic: October 9
The Cynic: October 9
The Cynic
October 09, 2025
In partnership with
BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
Musk’s new Tesla package could pay him tens of billions—even if many “Mars-shot” goals never leave the launchpad.
Business Insider | Amazon CEO Andy Jassy
A Reuters breakdown says the record plan lets him earn massive stock awards by hitting a handful of easier milestones, like modest vehicle targets and fuzzy product definitions (think “advanced driving system” that doesn’t have to actually drive itself). The big, concrete profit goals remain the hardest part—and not strictly required to unlock some awards.
There’s a time-served kicker too: stay long enough in the big chair and the stock starts showing up—plus voting rights when awards vest.-
Translation: if compensation packages were video games, this one has some surprisingly generous side quests.
Pharmacies and discounters are in talks to plug into “TrumpRx,” the administration’s drug-discount portal.
REUTERS | Jeenah Moon
Chains and platforms are negotiating their role alongside drugmaker offers so the site doesn’t steer patients only to manufacturer portals—and away from retail counters and insurance benefits.
The idea is cheaper brand-name meds; the uncertainty is whether the discounts beat what people already get with coverage or store programs.
If this actually lands, the winners are patients who can comparison-shop in one place; if it doesn’t, it’s just another login you forget two weeks after open enrollment.
Dollar jitters are sending precious metals moonward—gold above 4K, silver at a record, and everyone suddenly a commodities expert.
REUTERS | Hemanshi Kamani
Investors crowd into hard assets when they’re nervous about policy, inflation, or the greenback’s vibe. Gold’s ripping, but platinum and silver are even hotter year-to-date, with silver punching through prior records on both safe-haven demand and industrial use.
Caveat for latecomers: crowded trades are fun until the exit is smaller than you remember. Shine responsibly.
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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
Homeowners are “staging” with AI—because it’s cheaper than moving furniture and it never scuffs a baseboard.
AFP | Getty Images
Virtual staging is going mainstream: declutter the photos, add tasteful mid-century everything, and voilà—click-worthy listing. It’s fast and affordable, which sellers love, and it can boost traffic, which agents love.
But there’s a line between “enhanced” and “imaginary kitchen island.” Smart sellers disclose edits, and smarter buyers bring tape measures. If the dining room looked bigger online, congratulations—you’ve discovered perspective.
House hunters are drifting back to riskier mortgages just to shave a few bucks.
Courtesy of Zuri Gardens
New data pegs one wedding plus a bachelor(ette) weekend at roughly two grand—right around the typical U.S. monthly rent—with nearly half of Gen Z and millennials admitting they’ve made housing sacrifices to say “I do… have the funds.”
Budget tip: if you can’t afford both the flight and the fondue fountain, choose the one that doesn’t come with checked-bag fees.
Mortgage rates are hovering around the low-6s—and the market’s treating 4 basis points like a plot twist.
REUTERS | Sarah Meyssonnier
This week’s 30-year fixed is roughly 6.3%, a hair lower than last week, still stuck in the tight range it’s held since mid-September. That’s just enough relief to coax some buyers back, but not enough to pry “3-handle” homeowners off the couch.
Bottom line: activity’s thawing, not sizzling—so price right, lock smart, and don’t count on rate fairy tales at closing.
“I used to read five different newsletters until I realized they all said the same thing—then I found The Cynic, which says the same thing but funnier.”
FUN
Riddle Me This
I’m borrowed more than I’m owned,
I rise when confidence is shown.
I move with rates, I shape your fate,
Yet vanish fast when you’re late.
What am I?
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ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice
“If your company needs a new meeting to talk about the last meeting, you don’t need better strategy—you need better people.”
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