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- The Cynic: November 13
The Cynic: November 13
The Cynic
November 13, 2025
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BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
Trump Is Committed to $2,000 Tariff Dividend for Most Americans, White House Says.
REUTERS
A Hamburg court sided with a plaintiff claiming OpenAI’s models violated copyright, marking one of Europe’s first real wins against the company.
The ruling is narrow but sets a precedent that could encourage more lawsuits across the EU, where “AI training data” is code for “we borrowed everything.”
It’s unclear how OpenAI will respond, but somewhere a lawyer just bought a new espresso machine.
Tesla Recalls 10,500 Powerwalls for Spontaneous Fire Enthusiasm
REUTERS | Jeenah Moon
Tesla recalled over 10,000 Powerwall 2 units after a few decided to “run hot,” which is a polite way of saying “minor spontaneous combustion risk.”
No injuries were reported, just some tense moments and probably one very overworked PR intern.
Tesla’s fix: software updates to cool things down — because nothing says “safety” like debugging your basement battery via Bluetooth.
Democrats furious as Trump pauses export curbs on China — diplomacy or déjà vu?
REUTERS | Hemanshi Kamani
Top Democrats accused the administration of giving Beijing a free pass by delaying new export restrictions on Chinese firms.
The pause is reportedly part of a larger negotiation to keep trade talks friendly, because nothing builds trust like threatening each other with tariffs and then canceling dinner.
Call it “strategic patience” or “delayed punishment,” but either way, Washington and Beijing are basically that couple who break up every week but still share a Netflix account.
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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
Foreclosures are back — not 2008 back, but enough to make Zillow nervous.
AFP | Getty Images
Foreclosure filings rose for the eighth straight month in October, up about 20% from last year.
It’s not a crisis, just an uncomfortable reminder that “soft landing” still involves a landing.
Meanwhile, real-estate investors are circling foreclosed homes like hawks at a yard sale.
You can now day-trade houses. Because what could possibly go wrong.
Courtesy of Zuri Gardens
Startup Arrived just launched a marketplace letting you buy and sell shares of rental homes for as little as $100 — because “owning a piece of the American dream” now fits on your Robinhood app.
Each property is basically a mini-REIT, backed by Jeff Bezos and Marc Benioff, which means two billionaires are indirectly your landlords now.
Soon we’ll have meme houses, house-shorting, and CNBC anchors yelling “BrickCoin is up 12% pre-market!”
Mortgage demand rises as buyers return to get rejected more optimistically.
REUTERS
Homebuyer applications hit their highest level since September, jumping 6% after mortgage rates dipped.
Refinancers are still sulking, but new buyers are back for their favorite national pastime: pretending they can afford a home.
It’s that magical cycle — rates fall, hope rises, and then everyone remembers what “closing costs” are.
“This is way funnier than CNN.”
FUN
Riddle Me This
I never buy a house, yet I sell them all the time.
When I’m low, lines form; when I’m high, “maybe next time.”
I price tomorrow with numbers you pay today.
What am I?
Reply to this email with the answer for a chance to win a surprise
ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice
“Hire a really expensive marketer. It’s almost always worth it.”
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