The Cynic: May 25

BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News

Boeing Cuts a Deal With DOJ—Because Nothing Says Accountability Like a Deadline Extension

Apparently, safety comes with a 6-week timer.
The DOJ has reached a deferred prosecution agreement with Boeing, giving the planemaker until July 7 to prove it's cleaned up its act—or face criminal charges over past crashes. Think of it like detention... but with lawyers.

No convictions yet, just performance reviews.
Rather than immediate prosecution, the government is letting Boeing submit a “compliance report,” which we assume comes in a glossy binder with zero mention of faulty bolts.

So yes, your next flight is technically part of the evidence.
Until July, Boeing gets to keep flying under “close observation,” which somehow feels less reassuring than a tray table in turbulence.

Nvidia Makes a Discount AI Chip Just for China—Export Curbs Meet Workarounds

If you can’t sell the good stuff, sell the almost-good stuff.
Nvidia is prepping a lower-powered version of its Blackwell AI chip for the Chinese market to get around U.S. export restrictions. It's like giving a Lamborghini a governor and still calling it performance.

The U.S. says “no,” Nvidia hears “maybe.”
While Washington limits the sale of cutting-edge AI hardware to China, Nvidia is working on a “legally acceptable” version, giving Beijing the next-best thing without technically breaking any rules.

This is capitalism with a side of diplomacy.
China gets a chip. Nvidia keeps its market share. And U.S. regulators... keep refreshing their inbox.

U.S.-Made iPhones Struggle—Because the Screws Are Too Small, Literally

Turns out, the screws don’t want to be patriotic.
Apple’s quiet effort to build more iPhones in the U.S. is running into problems—like not being able to find the right screws. Welcome to the industrial policy reboot, where hardware meets homegrown headaches.

It’s not just screws—it’s everything.
From supply chain gaps to parts availability, making iPhones in America isn’t just expensive—it’s logistically painful. Like assembling IKEA furniture in a desert.

Good news: it’s made in America. Bad news: it might not work.
Domestic manufacturing sounds great until you realize that foreign-made micro screws are the unsung heroes of your screen time.

REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News

Small Brokerages Quietly Outmaneuver the Big Guys—Size Isn’t Everything

Turns out being small is trendy again.
In a changing real estate landscape, nimble independent brokerages are winning where corporate giants are flailing—offering flexible models, better agent splits, and fewer layers of nonsense.

Agility beats bureaucracy in a slow market.
While large firms focus on tech and scale, smaller shops are scooping up agents with personalized support and leaner overhead. It’s the classic “local beats logo” play.

It’s not a revolution, just a comeback.
Big brokerages still dominate volume, but in 2025, being scrappy and human might actually pay off again. Imagine that.

Inventory’s Up—But Mortgage Rates Are Still Killing the Mood

There are more homes, but fewer buyers to notice.
Spring brought a 30% jump in housing inventory, but high mortgage rates are making sure no one gets too excited. It’s like throwing a party where the drinks are $14 each.

Buyers are hesitant, sellers are grumpy.
Sellers who locked in 3% rates aren’t eager to let go, and buyers facing 7% financing are scrolling Zillow like it’s a doom feed.

The market has listings, but not vibes.
Even with more homes on the menu, nobody’s hungry—unless rates drop or sellers finally blink.

Redfin Cracks Down on Bad Listings—Because Chaos Isn’t Cute Anymore

Real estate’s Wild West is about to get some rules.
Starting in September, Redfin will begin enforcing stricter listing standards on its platform—cleaning up duplicate, stale, or inaccurate listings that confuse buyers and frustrate agents.

No more zombie listings. No more bait and switch.
Redfin says enough is enough, and agents who post “non-compliant” listings could be removed from the site. It’s listing justice, Silicon Valley style.

Finally, a crackdown that doesn’t involve credit scores.
This is about transparency, user trust, and maybe—just maybe—making the internet slightly less irritating.

BREAKING NEWS
This Week’s Headlines

1. Russia Launches Largest Attack on Kyiv in Months, Then Swaps Prisoners
Ukraine reports over 70 missiles and drones launched at Kyiv—followed by a surprise prisoner exchange that feels a little like sending flowers after breaking the windows.

2. Israel Faces Mounting Pressure From Allies Over Gaza War
U.S. and European allies are pushing Israel for a ceasefire deal as the Gaza war drags on—while Netanyahu’s coalition pulls in the opposite direction.

3. Russia Creating ‘Buffer Zone’ at Ukraine Border, Claims Land Is Now Security Policy
Moscow says it's clearing Ukrainian towns near the border to protect Russian territory, while the West says it looks a lot like an old-school land grab with a PR facelift.

4. Georgia Man Dies in Police Custody After Telling Officers He Couldn’t Breathe
Qaaadir Lewis begged officers for help before collapsing in a jail cell; state officials are now investigating, again.

5. Kim Kardashian Cleared of All Charges in Paris Fashion Week Lawsuit
A French court ruled in favor of Kim K after she was accused of breaching fashion event contracts—proving yet again that designer drama can go all the way to court.

FUN
Riddle Me This

I get assessed but never praised. I rise when the market’s hot, and when you finally sell me, I take one last bite. What am I?

Reply to this email with the answer for a chance to win a surprise

ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice

Want your advice to be featured on next week’s edition of The Cynic?

Reply to this email with your business advice

SPONSORSED CONTENT

This Week’s Sponsor

He’s already IPO’d once – this time’s different

Spencer Rascoff grew Zillow from seed to IPO. But everyday investors couldn’t join until then, missing early gains. So he did things differently with Pacaso. They’ve made $110M+ in gross profits disrupting a $1.3T market. And after reserving the Nasdaq ticker PCSO, you can join for $2.80/share until 5/29.

Invest today for $2.80/share.

_{This is a paid advertisement for Pacaso’s Regulation A offering. Please read the offering circular at invest.pacaso.com. Reserving a ticker symbol is not a guarantee that the company will go public. Listing on the NASDAQ is subject to approvals. Under Regulation A+, a company has the ability to change its share price by up to 20%, without requalifying the offering with the SEC.}