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- The Cynic: August 11
The Cynic: August 11
The Cynic
August 11, 2025
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BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
Trump says Apple’s bringing $100 billion in new investment to the U.S.—Tim Cook nodded politely.
Getty Images
During a campaign stop, Trump claimed Apple had pledged to invest $100 billion in the U.S., calling it “the largest investment in the history of our country.” Apple hasn’t confirmed the number, but it hasn’t denied it either—which in 2025 is basically a retweet.
The announcement was light on specifics, but Trump credited his earlier policies for bringing Apple back into expansion mode. He also mentioned their partnership during COVID supply chain reshuffling, because nothing seals a bond like N95s and panic orders.
Whether it’s real or not, investors loved the energy. Apple shares rose 1.3% because in this market, vibes are fundamentals.
Trump’s executive order may open the 401(k) floodgates to “alternative” assets—aka your retirement portfolio might start owning cattle.
MarketWatch | iStockphoto
Markets have had a nice little rebound, but don’t break out the congratulations just yet—July’s CPI data, due this week, might remind us why we stopped trusting optimism in the first place.
Analysts are flashing stagflation warnings: a little inflation, a little unemployment, and a whole lot of investor dread. Fed hints at a September rate cut—oh, what a relief...or a cruel tease.
As you sip your decaf (or doze off mid‑scroll), remember: there’s barely a hint of stability—just a hangover brewing for Q4.
Adidas just apologized for making a sandal inspired by Mexican culture without telling… any Mexicans.
Courtesy of A Nueva York
Adidas pulled a new line of slides after facing backlash for using traditional Mexican embroidery designs without consulting the Indigenous communities who created them. In fairness, nothing screams “respectful collaboration” like launching cultural products from a German boardroom.
The company admitted the design was based on textiles from Tenango, Hidalgo—known for vibrant animal motifs—and apologized for not engaging local artisans before turning their heritage into beachwear.
This isn’t Adidas’ first time in hot water for this. Maybe it’s time they just made a plain black flip-flop and called it "Humility™."
REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
America's dead malls are getting a weird second wind—and this time, it’s not coming from Cinnabon.
Ahmed Abbassi, Founder and CEO of Greca Developments
Despite years of headlines about “dying retail,” some malls are bouncing back thanks to luxury stores, healthcare clinics, pickleball courts, and—because we’ve lost the plot entirely—community colleges.
Developers are reinventing malls as multi-use “lifestyle centers” where you can shop, eat, work out, take a class, and maybe get Botox before hitting Sephora.
So yes, malls are alive again. Just not in the way your teenage self remembers them—unless your teenage self took spin classes and owned a coworking space.
The Senate wants to pause your mortgage if your house gets eaten by a hurricane—finally.
Courtesy of Chesney Morales Partners
A proposed bill would give homeowners six months of automatic mortgage forbearance after a federally declared disaster, which sounds… obvious?
Currently, disaster victims have to go through banks, forms, and emotional damage just to not pay their mortgage on a pile of rubble. This would streamline it—no paperwork, no phone calls, no tears.
If passed, it’d be the first time Washington admitted that people with missing roofs probably don’t have time to talk to Freddie Mac.
ENERGY STAR wants commercial buildings to finally stop pretending they’re doing their part.
Realty News Report
The EPA just updated its ENERGY STAR program to make commercial real estate companies actually prove they’re being energy efficient before slapping a blue sticker on the lobby.
They’re now tracking greenhouse gas emissions, not just electricity usage, and buildings will need third-party validation. So no, your all-glass skyscraper in Phoenix won’t get a gold star for using LED lightbulbs.
The industry says it’s a “challenge.” We call it “accountability.” Or at least the first draft of it.
‘‘Like espresso for the news—strong, a little bitter, and guaranteed to make you feel something.’’
FUN
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I grow without a seed.
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And fed more than greed.
What am I?
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ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice
“This quarter’s projections aren’t a goal—they’re a confession.”
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SPONSORSHIP
This Week’s Partner
Former Zillow exec targets $1.3T market
The wealthiest companies tend to target the biggest markets. For example, NVIDIA skyrocketed nearly 200% higher in the last year with the $214B AI market’s tailwind.
That’s why investors are so excited about Pacaso.
Created by a former Zillow exec, Pacaso brings co-ownership to a $1.3 trillion real estate market. And by handing keys to 2,000+ happy homeowners, they’ve made $110M+ in gross profit to date. They even reserved the Nasdaq ticker PCSO.
No wonder the same VCs behind Uber, Venmo, and eBay also invested in Pacaso. And for just $2.90/share, you can join them as an early-stage Pacaso investor today.
Paid advertisement for Pacaso’s Regulation A offering. Read the offering circular at invest.pacaso.com. Reserving a ticker symbol is not a guarantee that the company will go public. Listing on the NASDAQ is subject to approvals.
